Saw this painting in Palm Springs....so funny because it reminded me of the mean girl! LOL!
I just had the funniest experience. Well, to me it was funny….
Let’s take a look back to High School. For some, it might send shivers down their back, remembering the awful, awkward times. For some, it was their Glory Days. For others, just a neutral passing of another 4 years of life. And, for many, it was a combination of all of these. I, personally, really enjoyed High School. When I first went to Arrowhead, I was so scared. I missed the first couple of days of school because I was traveling for Nationals. When I arrived, cliques and alliances had been formed, and personal labels had been assigned. (Remember? Preppies, Yuppies, Dirtbags, Loners, Jocks, etc.) At the time, I was pretty overwhelmed…I wasn’t sure where I fit in. But in hind site, that was a blessing because I was able to fly under the radar, so to speak, of social scrutinization.
For the first couple of years at school, I was always Chuck and Jim’s little sister. That was my first name….really! And, I didn’t mind. When it comes to brother’s, I have the best in the world. I still think so! They were tall, handsome and smart. They were nice to me 95% of the time….and the 5% when they weren’t I usually deserved it. After all, I was the youngest! I had to stir the pot once in awhile! And, a lot of Juniors and Seniors were super nice to me because they liked them.
First Chuck went off to Notre Dame. I thought that was so exciting for him. And, when he left, I kept my favorite GAP sweater from his closet, and quickly took over his bedroom. It was, 3 times as big as my current one was! It wasn’t until Jim left home that it hit me that I was going to be the only child left at home for a few more years. I have to admit, I was sad to not have my brothers there with me at home. It was a tumultuous time in our family’s lives, and my brothers were my support system. But, in those next two years, I developed so much inner strength…I identified some of my core values, I identified what I definitely did NOT want in my life, which in turn allowed me to focus on what I truly did want!
And in those years of growing, physically, emotionally, mentally, I did learn some very important life lessons. Unfortunately, in today’s society, too many parents want to just be their child’s buddy instead of the guiding force that helps instill values of what is right vs. what is wrong. They are afraid to discipline their children. They are just so strictly supportive instead of telling them when they are making poor decisions. This, unfortunately, is developing a generation of people who are going to grow up with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, a complete lack of empathy for others, an inability to choose right from wrong, or even an ability to identify what it is that they want to achieve in life. Many will also have complete disregard for the environment and the greater good of the universe. Why? Because everything has been handed to them on a platter. They haven’t ever had to struggle of work for something. And when that happens, they lose a sense of reality that there is life outside of their “bubble”.
Now some people, I know, will read that and think I am being completely harsh. But I am writing completely from experience here. As I said, I learned some very important lessons that I will carry with me forever. The main one…is the Golden Rule! I was taught from a very early age to always treat other people the way YOU would like to be treated! And, from a very early age, I was very sensitive to people who were victim to people abusing their position of power and/or authority to serve only themselves. I learned to see the good in people first, but to also be completely aware that not everyone was good. It was a balance of naivety and realism. (And that lesson was a life long one in which I am still improving on daily.) And, I learned to find the silver lining, or identify the lesson in the challenges life threw my way.
And, as an individual, as a strong, independent woman, as a wife, and as a mother, I pull on my life experience to continually try to be a better, more aware, more compassionate person. I love that we have all of these social media outlets to reconnect with people from our pasts. I love going on line to Facebook and seeing what my old grade school and high school friends are up to. I love to see their families growing up. I love that even though we might not be physically close to one another, we can still reach out and share our everyday joys, celebrations, sorrows, and prayers with each other. And I love that the stupid “social stereotypes” that once haunted us growing up in grade school and high school, seemed to have disappeared as the reality of life has become the stronger guiding force in our lives.
Which brings me to the funny thing that happened to me! I had an interaction with a “person” that ticked me off. Her behavior wasn’t directly disrespectful, but it was on the selfish and immature side. Honestly, I really didn’t care about what this person did to me personally, because honestly, we are merely acquaintances put into the same social setting because of our mutual friends. But you see, because of my upbringing, and the whole Golden Rule thing, I feel one should treat their friends with a higher level of respect and kindness. Well, I am a firm believer in “We teach people how to treat us” (another good juicy lesson learned from my amazing husband, John Santangelo, an NLP Master Trainer.) I have to say, my friends are such a unique, special group of people! There are none more caring and giving on this planet. And, they are peacemakers, too, to the benefit of society. I think I am pretty much of a peacemaker myself, but I will not put up with someone mistreating myself or others, whether passively or aggressively….especially when it comes to my friends and family!
So, I did what I needed to do. I contacted the person privately and told her I didn’t think what she did was nice, it wasn’t how a friend should treat her friends, and I thought her behavior said something about her character as a person. Mature? Could you handle it if someone spoke to you privately like this? Well, this person couldn’t…and this is the funny part. Because I am rather a new member to this group (even though I’ve been there for years now), she decided to take my private message to her public to the entire group of girls…It was like she reverted back to Mean Girls in high school, and needed the back up of her mean girl posse! Call in the troops! There is someone here not falling into line behind me! This needs to be the “all about ME show!”
Well, the good news is while this person has been so stuck in her own world, (I’d like to say while the selfish B* had her head up her A*….but I am a lady, so I won’t go there) the rest of the world has evolved! Most of us have grown and realized how completely UNimportant the drama that we lived with in school is in today’s world. It really doesn’t matter. I could go on and on here, but I think that sums it up! Most of us grew up. Some didn’t….but I don’t have to be friends with them. I will be kind to them, but I don’t have to be their friend.
I do love my friends…and the good news is they love me, too! 🙂 I honestly think I have the best group of friends a girl could ever dream of having! And they handled the mean girl just as I hoped they would. They ignored her call to attack! Their lack of response spoke volumes, and I couldn’t have been happier. In the end, I think they might have learned a bit more about me….I’m not a trouble maker. I don’t try to stir the pot or cause drama for fun. I will treat my friends (humans and animals in general) the way I would like to be treated. I’m not a pushover, and I don’t take BS from other people. I will stand up for the people I care about, and I will always give my honest opinion. I am easy to read. I am sensitive, but I am very strong. At times I might be scared, but my inner strength will always conquer any fear. (OK, unless it comes to spiders…but that is a completely different story.)
So what is the main lesson to come from this experience? Be true to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to those around you. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for those around you. Live your life with character, and your karma and your reputation will be in check and right. Look at your own life. Look at the people you love. Look at the way you treat others. Are you being the example that other’s would want to follow? And if someone or something challenges you, are you going to be a pillar of strength? Or will you be a pushover and give in to bullying….It is up to you!
Have you ever had a situation where someone has tried to push you around or bully you? How did you handle it? Are you happy with the results or would you try a different approach next time? Leave a comment and tell me!
La Vita Beata 